Monday, November 16, 2015
The Graveyard
You are in the GRAVEYARD. Most of these are just weed-covered gravestones, but a few stand out. There is a rather ostentatious Mausoleum in one corner. In another is a statue of a weeping woman. Leaning against it is a black man in overalls. He is smoking a cigarette, and there is a pair of garden shears next to him.
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LOOK MAN
ReplyDeleteHe is short and stocky... and rather ugly. He has white splotches all over his face, arms, and hands. You somehow recognize the name of the skin condition "Vitiligo."
ReplyDeleteHe's probably the groundskeeper on a smoking break
LOOK MAUSOLEUM
ReplyDeleteIt is the entrance to the GALWAY CRYPT. You recall that the Galway family used to be pretty influential in town in the 19th century and that they founded a lot of the local institutions: you're pretty sure the newspaper among them. When you were growing up here they hadn't been influential for decades, long since eclipsed by the Habergraces. By now there might not be any Galways left.
ReplyDeleteThings never change. If the Galways were anything like the Habergraces then they were total creeps. Maybe Cecil Clementine was too, and George Washington and King Solomon for that matter. Maybe Christ was like that. Maybe everyone who's ever had a statue made out of them is just another asshole trying to avoid ending up in that marble crypt over there. Well, a lot of good it did the Galways.
Haha, that's good Eric.
ReplyDeleteCONSULT SIMON'S NOTES RE: GALWAY
It is a newspaper clipping. There is a picture of an attractive but severe looking upper class woman wearing an absolutely fabulous hat.
ReplyDeleteTHE LANDING HORN
Jan 3rd 1926
Welcome Georgia Galway-Smoot
by Landing Horn Staff
Galway heiress and socialite Georgia Galway-Smoot has assumed the role of editor-in-chief of our humble newspaper. Galway-Smoot nee Galway is the last scion of that family and a frequent contributor to these very pages. We are pleased to operate under the auspices of Lord's Landing nobility, and anticipate the direction that a more feminine eye can lend to our reporting. With that we raise a glass of champagne and offer no other toast but that of our own motto: Tuba Mirum Spargens Sonum!
SEARCH for MOM'S GRAVE
ReplyDeleteYour mother's old Virgin Mary statue is placed just at the edge of the swamp here, almost at the treeline. It and the surrounding land have been overgrown with wild blue cornflowers. Your mother is buried there.
ReplyDeleteCLEAR FLOWERS from STATUE
ReplyDeleteAs you do so you hear a raspy voice behind you
Delete"That statue aint on town property technically. But I didn't know it was a grave. From now on I can keep it clear for you if you'd like."
I assume this is the groundskeeper.
DeleteSAY, "My mother is buried here, it's kind of a grave. It's OK, I'll just clear it up now. My mother loved plants, it'll be alright if they grow back."
"Alright, I'll leave you to your respects. I didn't think anyone would be here this morning. Don't mind the noise, I gotta fix the gate on the crypt yonder and its gonna make one a hellava racket."
ReplyDeleteSAY, "What's wrong with the gate? Who's in that old crypt, anyways?"
ReplyDelete"It's the old Galway crypt. The- uh- filigree around the bars are all bent out of shape. Looks like there's a giant hole in them. I guess some critters got in there or somethin."
ReplyDeleteSAY, "You get a lot of critters around here?"
ReplyDeleteYou hear a wheeze from the man that you realize is a chuckle. "Five feet past the treeline and you're neck deep in swamp. You tell me."
Delete"Are you from around here?"
SAY, "I'm from here but it's been a while since I've been in town. What kind of critters are we talkin' about here?"
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Oh we get cats, rats, bats, all kinds of 'ats. We get possums, we get snakes, rabbits, otters. I've had to chase away bigger stuff too, one time a bear came around here."
ReplyDelete"Once my niece told me she saw a Snallygaster outside her window. Now I ask what the sam hill is a Snallygaster, and she says its like a big winged beast with claws. Then she says that its got three purple eyes all around its head, and no mouth but a big trunk like an elephant, and its striped like a zebra, and it hates ice cream. So tell you what mister, if you see a Snallygaster out there let me know so I can warn her."
CONSULT SIMON'S NOTES re: SNALLYGASTER
ReplyDeleteThere is an 18th century woodcut of a silly winged creature with a child in it's claws. There is some thick gothic blackletter on the bottom:
ReplyDeleteDie Schnellergeist Entführt Unartige Kinder
Simon was like 10 seconds from being a goth.
ReplyDeleteSAY, "What do you figure made the whole in the Galway crypt?"
"Can't rightly say. I'll be over there if you wanna take a look" The man starts to walk toward the crypt.
ReplyDeleteFOLLOW; LOOK; TIME
ReplyDeleteEhh, lets say its 11:00
ReplyDeleteYou follow the groundskeeper up to the Galway Crypt. There is a marble Mausoleum with an intricate iron gate barring the entrance. You can see through the inside a stairway leading into the darkness. The wrought iron on the gate is cast in images of trumpets, birds, and leaves. But it is bent and torn on the upper left hand side into a hole approximately two feet in diameter. It is about four feet off the ground.
The groundskeeper snorts. "Would you look at that? Any critter that could fit through a hole that size certainly couldn't reach it."
SAY, "Then how do you explain how it got there?"
ReplyDelete"Damned if I know, buster. Maybe something really wanted to get in?" He chuckles. "Although, wait a minute, it looks like something is actually trying to get out, huh." He gestures for you to look at the hole.
ReplyDelete...... Totally legit.
ReplyDeleteLOOK at the HOLE.
The bars are bent outwards. Something clawed its way out.
ReplyDeleteSAY, "Now, sir, I don't mean to seem petulant, but these bars are bent outwards. Something clawed its way out."
ReplyDeleteThe man looks at you with an eyebrow raised and then looks at the hole. He has an almost sheepish expression on his face. He looks around furtively and puts an arm over your shoulder.
ReplyDelete"Tell me stranger," he rasps, "have you seen some weird shit around here lately?"
SAY, "My friend, I've been seeing some weird shit around here for longer than I'd care to remember."
ReplyDeleteHe seems to give a silent chuckle and says, "good, then it ain't just me. I've learned by now to keep my head low and not stir up any trouble. What I'm going to do is fix up this fence, finish work, and go home to my nieces and a beer."
ReplyDelete"But I'll do you a favor. Over in the Crow's Nest, under the sign of a purple snake knock three times. The guy is going to ask for a reference, tell him DRAWN-FROM-THE-WATER sent you." He looks sheepish, "I, uh, guess I have some credit there... a gentleman's got needs and I aint exactly Clark Gable..."
"Anyway the're gonna offer women to you, but the only woman you want is named PYTHIA. Remember that name, it's Greek or something. She knows shit. I don't know how but she knows shit."
"Those are some nasty people over there, but if you're looking for trouble you're gonna need to talk to some troublemakers."